alteracion | catchall endorsi

[ giving a little bit of a break between immediately sharing memories so that grace can be properly... she doesn't know what to feel. it's voyeuristic, seeing someone's painful, personal memories, especially since she's not close to endorsi. not to mention--

not to mention, it's an awful one. who'd do that to a child? to multiple children? she doesn't know how to react so instead she just flounders ]

I-- I'm sorry. [ it's reflexive, from seeing something she shouldn't have. ] I...

[ but, i mean, i said a bit of a break, so before grace can settle on what to say, it's her turn.

The setting is a lavish room, and you're staring at yourself in the mirror as you attempt to put on lipstick. Nothing you're wearing fits, but it's fine. You just want to dress up and look like your mother. Your hair is straight like hers, and the pearls are nice. You had to kneel on the seat to be able to look at yourself in the vanity properly. You hear your mother before you see her:

"Oh no, Grace. Look at you!"

She sounds annoyed already, but you still turn back with a grin. "I wanted to try a different look!" You're hoping if she notices how much you look like her, she'll...

But she snaps back "We're hosting Ambassador Morris tonight!", like it means anything. She's sighing and holding her hand to her head like you've given her a headache. She snaps out the name of your carer, and there's been so many it blurs in your mind. You don't look at either of them as she says that she doesn't have time for this and tells Julie (Molly? Susan? Who cares.) to bring you to a movie. You take off her hat off, looking down. You thought it looked pretty. You thought she would have liked it. Why wouldn't she like it? It's her stuff. Why won't she ever just--

it's grace's turn to wince. it's such a nothing memory, compared to what she just saw. she feels .... guilty? her heart still beats too hard. ]

We don't have to talk about this.

[No matter what the memory is, it's always jarring for her to be put into a different place and time so suddenly, another person's thoughts and feelings. She takes a second to reorient herself from the disappointment, the unhappiness. It takes her another moment to register that statement.]

...We don't have to. [It's not like she's aching to discuss either, but for the sake of having it said—] But it doesn't bother me. It was hundreds of years ago.

[She's proud enough that she doesn't want it to seem like a sore spot.]

[ there's a pause at that, and grace shakes out her head with a shrug ]

Of course not. It doesn't bother me, either. [ though, right: ] I wanted to ask about that, actually. You don't exactly look three hundred years old?

Ahh, people keep saying that to me, but most of you don't look the right age at all! You should be much smaller at eighteen.

[A beat, and based on what other people have told her about this—]

It doesn't matter if you're human. They live the same amount of time as I do where I'm from.

Edited 2021-02-24 04:53 (UTC)